List

Things I have to do before I move out.

1. Buy powder blue coat from retro metro (check)

2. Get the rest of my things (three bags full.) to Greta's house.. (they are in garbage bags, i don't know how to get them to her house yet..) (check... bus, train, 2o minute walk, simones help, get the bags to the lovely keshias house.)

3. Clean hair dye stain from carpet. (check)

4. Clean hair dye stain(s) from wall. (check)

5. Vacuum hair from all over the house when I walked around cutting it the other day (hi have we met? I'm the worst house mate ever.) (check)

6. Finish trying to squeeze everything into to two suitcase and a back pack.

7. Go to the Gods and Goddesses party on Friday night and help Simone make loads of new friends so she can go out with them of a weekend, ergo making me feel less guilty about leaving. (check... kind of... the party sucked)

(As I was leaving they mentioned they had many rooms that needed to be filled, maybe you should just migrate to west tower Simone?)

8. Go visit Julia and Lauren one last time. (check)

9. Go to the lifestyle markets and get a churro with whipped cream and icing sugar.

10. Return all library books.

11. spend hours upon hours with Greta.

11. clean entire house for leaving inspection.

12.Have one last night in the valley and finally suck it up and pay the five dollars to get into the family and birdies, which apparently you cant go out in Brisbane without. (ended up staying in but had great/better night... so check.)

(when home before Newcastle)

13. Eat a nothing but meat.

14. Spend countless quality time with pets and sister so neither of them forgets you to quickly.

15. Ring up health-food shops/chemists in Newcastle.

16. Ring Centrelink.

17. Ring prospective rooms available in Newcastle.

18. spend as much time as can with Carlota.

19. See *shudder* Janet.. *necks self.

20. op-shop a little while its cheap and you have the chance.

That's it. I'm feeling a little down because now i know for my whole life I'm going to have one of those, but what would have happened if i would have stayed in Brisbane type question, damn you Robert Frost for putting the idea so fluently and permanently in my brain. Instead of being able to relate to you, you have cursed me with the affliction of questioning every decision I make. The worst part Is I forgot to even fucking use your poem in the HSC.


also, Shelley Duvall is the thing/person/book/music/movie/pop culture reference, which has currently taken priority one in my heart strings.

I'm free, but not with out a cost

I'm finally out of the lease here, all i had to do was give up 800 dollars! It was worth it.
Now I'm going home Tuesday, then Newcastle Thursday, very exciting.
Big last weekend in El valley planned! ill write more once I'm settled on somewhere, but that's whats happening anyway!

we are all borrowed time.

have not blogged for a while. nothing really that new has happened.
I'm still struggling here big time. I'm sinking deeper and deeper into debts and the more I kick to try and bring myself back on top the more I end up exhausted after a day of running around the city and with a bank account of 84 cents to show for it, with rent due in three days.

I cant handle this, if things don't pick up soon I'm going home then to Newcastle sooner, I may end up in the same situation but at least the rent there will be a hell of a lot cheaper.

I went and visited Lauren and Julia's campus the other day, that was fun. Met there friends, all very nice. got to drunk, and wore a dress that Lauren's mum made, it was a lovely high necked sleeveless 60s gold sequin number, a bit overdressed for sitting in her room drinking goon but i was past the point of caring.

Wayne came and visited which was fun as expected, walked around the city went to the french film festival at the library blah blah blah.

nothing else left to say, except maybe the idea of hurling myself into oncoming traffic does not seem to bad to me lately.

how much is nail polish remover?

I am very happy and well fed and feel content to the number of jobs I have applied to today so feel it is an appropriate time to relax and write about my goings on in birs vegas, the second worst city in Australia.

Went out the other night, I was skeptical because not only do I hate going out, I also hate brisbane so I thought I would hate the two together a lot. After a brief stint at the Normanby where we met some drunk guy who "liked my boots but not those cock head rjs.",we went into the valley.
Met up with Lauren and Greta, got way to drunk off goon out the front of a guitar shop, the continued on to this great place.. the name has left me, but If your ever with me Ill take you there.
we got our drinks confiscated as we walked in, fair enough. Greta and I danced to xanadu, dirty dancing, and Prince. As we were leaving, we politely asked for our goon sack back and they actually gave it to us.
proceeded to drink for an hour in an alley, but there are so many people just walking around drinking that in itself was actually a social mixer. Police took away our goon. Simone feel down at this point and cut her leg quiet badly so we all sobered up as we tried to fix it, plus nowhere would let us in. We made friends with buskers, got 50c cones and atomic tomato chips.
Then went to one last club, the fringe bar where they took out photos for this anti drinking campaign... which yes is ironic and I'm not sure if we were a what to do or a what not to do.

Been on many interviews, eaten much rice and water, walking everywhere (cant afford public transport) and finding many new places and things. Uni life is still not for me, but I'm enjoying being on my own more and getting into some sort of routine.

plus, I just lashed out and bought some roast chicken from Woolworth's and some red wine. hopefully this will be my week to get a job!
Wayne comes to visit on Friday!

The waiting game.

well. here I am waiting, apparently if i got the job i will get a call between four and five... its four oh five.. so after a foot long melt, two cookies and three muffins I'm watching episode after episode of scrubs to try and ease the tension, i think it went well, so I'm so torn between my usual pessimistic out look which had constantly lent me into bad luck, or this new strange feeling of slight positivity i have...
Plus I spent my last 2o of that money mum left me on celebratory food and drinks, yes I have a whole cask of red wine with my name on it so i can happily watch ladette to lady tonight. It could be celebratory or drinking away my sorrows (cheers Amanda.. i know your doing the same thing...)

Snack packs and public urination.

Lauren just left.
its sad sitting in my tiny room with out someone sitting behind me saying, "holly,holly,holly,holly....holly,holly.....watch this" then throwing a stress ball at my head.

That void will be instead filled with the hoards of strawberry snack packs i just brought, they were on special and it seemed smarter to me then buying sandwich stuff. by smarter of course I mean delicious..er.

what to say about toga night? well .. it was so crowded you could barely move, being pressed into walls and having drink spilt on, being ignored by people I thought I was getting to like, sending way to many texts and sitting alone in the smokers area ranting into the air about our age demographic. plus the day after, being today, my mouth feel like one of those pub ashtrays half filled with beer and nut shells.

On the plus side saw Julia and Amelia which took the ebb off the homesickness. band was pretty okay, and I perfected my technique of stealing the beers of unsuspecting smokers, therefore getting thoroughly drunk enough to deal with the hoards of people. plus lauren bought this amazing subway melt. made the night.

I just have so much trouble talking to people the two conversations with went like this,

Guy ; "can I ... uhh can I bum a smoke."
me; "yes"
guy; "ohh there not menthol's are they?? there bad for my sperm"
me; "how unlucky for you"
Guy; "oh and me kids"
Me ; "God forbid"

effectively loosing out on the group conversation in that one, between you and me, not a big loss.

(this next one happened three times with the same guy)

guy- hey i like your toga!
me- did we used to talk on msn?
guy- ehh no?
me- oh can I have a sip?
guy- "sure" *hands me jug of beer
Me- "MSN" *disappears into the crowd with jug of beer.

end of night made it home, after wandering around on my own for an hour, by some miracle bumped into Lauren who also was wandering around on her own.

Still no job. No money, not really liking here. missing my guitar. regretting drinking.

But at least I can finally say with firm resolution, I do not like going out, not clubing and and junk anyway. If there was a good place for drinks that wasnt crowded with a good band I mean I would love that, but as I always suspected, the uni socical life was not made for me.

anyway check out the toga party pictures on my facebook.

ill write more if anything actually ever happenes which I doubt.

needle in the hay

Nothing of real intrest has happened, sister and mother came to stay that was fun. The Village People Party was horrible, like a giant drunken high school social. still have hope things will get better.
love Retro Metro store in paddington. Wish I had loads more money, I would so have everything there.